Articles by: Andrea l. Dicamillo

  • Life & People

    Defending the Florentines


    Florentines have a bad reputation all over, and I think it’s about time that someone takes a stance and sticks up for them! I have frequently heard the two same complaints among American students about these infamous Florentines—their supposed blatant unfriendliness and responding back in English after you’ve tried speaking in Italian. As an outsider, I’ve been able to observe the native Florentines and discover the reasons behind their personalities.  And I think after a year I have finally begun to understand them (oh no, does that mean once you ‘get’ them, you’ve gotten just like them?)

     
    1. Their unfriendliness
    Though this may have a grain of truth to it, I think most people exaggerate their supposed ‘unfriendliness’ anyway. At first, I have to admit, Florentines may seem a bit cold—they may not smile and cheer for you (as some tourists expect, I suppose) when you walk into a restaurant or store. They usually will acknowledge you with a non-emotional “Buona sera” or “Buon giorno.” Their intent is not to scare you or intimidate you, nor are they conscientiously trying to be rude. They have this cold exterior at first because they’re hesitant in trusting people, but after a couple of encounters, they’ll warm up to you and give you that smile and pleasant demeanor that you’re looking for. Hey, they might even give you a hello on the street when they see you pass by—that is, if you get to know them well enough and engage in some banter every once in a while! 

     
    This demeanor exists for almost all Florentines, not just shopkeepers. Take me for instance. For me to establish myself within a solid group of Florentine friends, it took more than once of hanging out with them for them to really accept me as a friend. Before that, I felt like a blob of oil on a sponge: sure, they acknowledged my presence and said hello, even occasionally asking me something, but I sorta was just there and didn’t feel like I clicked with them so much. It takes time to earn their respect and friendship, and they test you out in many ways in a kind of hazing. One of those ways is by teasing you—sometimes a bit too much, I agree. If you’re American, for example, they’ll tease you about your accent or your culture. But the trick is not to get offended! They’re trying to see how well you can mold in their group. Florentines love making fun of each other and joking around. If it’s one thing they like to do, it’s laughing within their group of friends, especially if it’s at another person’s expense. I know this sounds weird, but consider it a compliment when they tease you; it means they’re starting to warm up to you. The best thing to do in that situation is to laugh with them.

     
    Florentines, however, are mainly reacting the exact same way that you’re acting. Not only are they going to react that way, but they’re going to multiple what you show them and take it to the extreme. For instance, if you’re outgoing and bubbly, they’ll be twice as outgoing and friendly; if you’re being rude, they’re going to give that rudeness right back to you and then some. It all depends on the kind of person you are and the way you treat others.  So let’s say you’ve had a rough day, and you go into a store, you don’t smile or say hello and you ask for a bus ticket at a tabacchi (a local drugstore). They’re not going to say hello either, nor will they greet you with a smile. Instead, they may be borderline rude and simply place the ticket on the counter, barking the price at you.

     
    Let’s take a real life example that perfectly illustrates this. I was in the car with two Florentines and one had parked on the side of the road to get out and buy cigarettes. In the meantime a woman politely asked if we could move our car because she was trying to get past to get to the street that we were partially blocking. My friend said no problem, got out from the passenger side, and moved the car a bit forward. Only moments later, another woman in an SUV came up to the car and scolded us about how idiotic we were to choose a parking spot like that when we were blocking a roadway, not to mention that it was illegal. Well, this behavior caused a scene: my friend erupted and got out of the car and shouted even louder right back at her. And the shouting didn’t stop even after she was able to get around our vehicle: my friend continued to scream and curse at her for about thirty seconds after the incident, saying that he didn’t like “la gente maleducata” (“rude people”). It just goes to show you that this is how Florentines are—they will respond to you the way that you’re treating them. So therefore: if you’re polite, they’ll be very cordial and friendly; but if you’re rude, they will certainly let you know that they don’t appreciate it! 
     
    2. “Ugh, they constantly answer in English!”
    OK, so it’s no secret: you’re not from Florence, you’re American or from some other country. Don’t be offended that a Florentine has spotted you for a tourist—because essentially, you are one, right? They’ve picked up that your accent is not Florentine and that you’re not even Italian. So why do they answer back in English when you’ve tried so hard putting together a grammatically correct Italian sentence and managed to spit it out with an accent you felt was flawless? 
     
    a) They’re in a rush
    Let’s imagine you’re in a supermarket where there’s a tremendous line for coldcuts and cheeses, when finally it’s your turn. You ask the worker for a panino with mortadella, she acknowledges your Italian and quickly grabs a roll—and you start celebrating in your head that you’ve spoken such great Italian! But you’ve celebrated prematurely, since she spitfires back a question at you in Italian, which you have no idea what she just said. “Come?”(“What?”),you ask. Instead of repeating what she just said in Italian, she asks you in English: “With or without pistachios?” (the mortadella, she means, since it comes in two varieties). Sheepishly, you mumble “without.” 
    So, let’s break down what happened in that example. The Florentine worker has, first of all, dealt with tourists all day, and her patience is running low. Whether it be in a restaurant, gelateria, supermarket, etc., the Florentine workers have to get all those tourists served and they don’t have time to be your personal Italian teacher. So they answer in English to make it easier for both parties, to save time, and (to be blunt) because they simply don’t feel like dealing with you and repeating the question more than once. Maybe your Italian really is good, but you just didn’t hear her. Even still, they don’t realize that and their main goal is to be in and out of situations; they don’t want to linger. So they just want you to understand their question as quickly as possible. 
     
    b) Their own English needs work
    As I’ve said before, they’ve spotted you’re American, they know you have an American accent. They will answer you back in English because they want to practice their own English. Rather than paying for a foreign language class, the Florentines can practice during their jobs with the plethora of tourists that come into Florence. After all, practice makes perfect!


    c) They’re trying to help you out
    Let’s face it: your Italian is no way near perfect and you’ve struggled in trying to ask a question at a store. The Florentine worker will make it easier for you by speaking back in English to make you more comfortable. No need to fumble through Italian. I’ve seen this happen several times in stores: sometimes they’ll politely ask “You speak English?” or simply respond in English. Either way, remember that they’re only trying to help.
     
    d) They want to show off
    There’s showing off happening at two different levels: the obvious one being that they’re trying to show you how great their English is. This usually is the typical scenario with university students or people who simply pride themselves on having studied English. There’s showing off at another level too: they’re also showing off their skills at spotting tourists, even when you think you look and act the part of being Florentine. They’re essentially telling you “yes, I’ve spotted you’re not Florentine, you don’t dress like us, you don’t talk like us, so I will address you in your own language, since you’re an outsider.”
     
    Keep in mind—answering in English doesn’t mean that your Italian is terrible! There is no need to get angry or frustrated.
     
    3. Some final thoughts and advice for tourists in Florence
    Be aware that if you approach anyone in Florence in Italian, they will appreciate it and treat you better. So at least try speaking in Italian—even if they answer back in English! 
     
    Don’t like being spoken to in English? Just politely ask if it would be OK to speak in Italian. I’m sure they’d be delighted to help you, if they’re not too busy (see number 2, letter a above).
     
    (In restaurants only) A good way to bond with Florentines is to compliment them on how fabulous your meal was. They’ll warm up to you really quickly after that! Florentines take great pride in their cuisine and the hard work that goes into it! 
     
    Another way to bond is saying that you’re from New York City (don’t lie about it though!), since all Italians love New York. They will want to know everything about it, especially what it’s like living there.
     
    Remember: be as cheerful and outgoing as possible (see number 1); you’ll get treated a lot better!
     
    Florence is one of the most beautiful cities in the world with some of the greatest people…once you can appreciate the way they are, at least.

  • Life & People

    Reflections on Identity


    Several months ago, I fell into the typical cliché mold of an American student studying abroad by finding a boyfriend here. And not just any European, but a football(soccer)-playing, ex-carabiniere, long-haired, designer clothes-wearing, motorino-driving Southern Italian (from Salerno, not Florence). 

     
    It just kinda happened (though that’s what they all say). I was eating in a restaurant near the Piazza della Signoria. I usually dine alone, so the waiter named Giovanni (naturally I changed his name so that his name isn’t broadcasted all over the internet. I respect people’s privacy…) started to talk to me about Florence, where I was from, and what I liked so far about the city—the usual conversational pieces I have with waiters. When I was about to leave, he offered to leave me his number. It was forward, I must admit, but he seemed like a sweet guy.

     
    Needless to say, I was initially thrilled to be hanging out with a European. It was exactly as I imagined it. But my aspirations for this relationship soon crumbled when I realized how different we really were, something that I never expected to happen. I always thought as an Italian American, my supposed European counterpart and I would be really similar. But my American identity soon overthrew that.

     
     Take for example us going out to dinner together. It seems easy. But the dinner took over three and a half hours of idle conversation and tons of courses (appetizer, primo, secondo, dessert, and a caffè), and towards the end of it, I was getting a little antsy and started looking at my watch. He scoffed at me, asking if I had to catch a train, implying I was in a rush and that I should enjoy my time with him. My American attention span just can’t handle eating dinner for that long. I had more important things to do, such as studying, doing my laundry, etc.

     
    We naturally butted heads about our relationship in general. He considered us an “item” after one date, whereas in America, as we know, it takes a lot longer of casual dating to become “official.” After the fourth or fifth date, he gave me a promise ring! I was shocked that our relationship was moving so quickly—what had I gotten myself into? (I still ask myself today if this is typical of all of Italy and Europe or if it’s just a Giovanni thing). Not to mention he wanted me to call, text, or squillo him as often as I possibly could, which he expected as least two or three times a day (something I just couldn’t take the time out of my day to do). 

     
    I had never heard of a squillo prior to my encounter with Giovanni. A squillo, as I learned, is basically just calling someone and quickly hanging up, so that the person sees the call and knows that the other person is thinking about them.  You’re supposed to immediately squillo back to return the gesture. The first time I didn’t answer his squillo got me into some trouble. He thought I was mad at him or didn’t like him. Meanwhile, I simply reasoned to myself after hearing the quick ring that his call was dropped or his battery died, so I just didn’t bother calling him back. I then explained to him it was all a misunderstanding after he confronted me about it.

     
    I didn’t have the time to call him that much nor see him as often as I wanted to because I am still a student (most importantly) who is busy most days reading, studying, researching, and going to classes. Maybe I should have made the extra effort to contact him more often and see him more. I’m fully aware that the reason why our relationship didn’t work was (mostly) my fault: my American mentality of studying hard to get the best grades possible and focusing my attention solely on my studies overrode any other concern.

     
    The thing that hurt me the most was what he said to me upon his leaving my apartment after we broke up (of course he said it to me in Italian, since he spoke virtually no English; we always spoke to each other only in Italian): “You and I are really just too different. I tried to make this work, but we’re just from different cultures.” Ouch. I always thought that I fashioned myself after a European mentality and culture because I love it so much. Will I be stuck in this American mold forever? Perhaps after having lived here for a year broke some of those old pesky American habits. 

     
    It pains me to say this, but could I ever date another European? Are all Europeans as clingy as Giovanni? Are Americans and Europeans really that different? Of course I want those answers to be yes, no, and no, but only time will tell what my future relationships will be like here in Italy. And I sure hope my future relationships will be a more positive experience.